Well, actually the story is about the rope, not the man.
Bartender says to the rope, "I must ask you to leave. Nobody wants you here.
You make our throats feel tight, and we can't drink."
So, the rope leaves. But then, the next day he decides to change his appearance
somewhat and go into the bar again.
The bartender sees him and asks, "Hey, you look familiar.
Aren't you the rope that was in here yesterday?"
The rope responds, "No, I'm a frayed knot."
William Wordsworth Has No Style
William Wordsworth's friend mentions to him that he should get some
new clothes and then suggests taking him down the street to the nearest tailor.
Wordsworth responds, "My dear fellow, I object! For a Wordsworth cannot be measured!"
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow is a Tailor's Best Client
Although the tailor had no trouble measuring this long fellow,
this story is about Longfellow and William Wrigley, the chewing gum magnate.
Once upon a time, when the two fellows were young, they went fishing.
Wrigley said , "I am going to create my own fishing lure company called Wrigley Fishing Lures."
Longfellow delighted, "How perfect!"
Years went by and while they were fishing, Longfellow suggested they use
chewing gum as bait.
Wrigley said, "Sure, I'll give it a try. But how much should I use?"
Longfellow replied, "Well, about a wad's worth, of course!"
OUR RECENT FAVORITES!
You know, now matter how hard you push the envelope, it will always remain stationery!
Where is the best place to be in an earthquake?
A stationery store!
What do you call an obstinate optician?
An obstetrician!
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
You nique up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way.
I was heading to the magic show, and when I was walking up to the entrance, I saw something very entertaining. It was the magician turning into a parking space!
Funny store and building signs
Email Us your jokes!
Here are some our readers have emailed us:
John Kerry walks into a bar, and the bartender asks,
"Why the long face?" Chuck
What did the termite say when he entered the bar?
Is the bar tender here?
Chuck
Einstein told his colleague about his new Theory of Relativity.
His colleague responded, "I am not so sure about this theory.
Doesn't it depend on one's point of view?" Vincent Pinegar
Ann Arbor,
MI
Two apples can form a pear, and two each can form a peach!
Question:Why do visitors to Finland from neighboring countries always seem so happy to arrive? Answer: They have just crossed the Finnish line!
Jimmy D.
New York,
NY
Wedding planner dilemma #1:
She was having a tough time calling clients out in the bookdocks.
She just couldn't get any reception going.
Wedding planner dilemma #2:
Setting up for the party, should she place the sporks on the right or the left?
Good Ole Boy
Nashville,
TN
Wife says to husband, "I'm having an affair."
He asks, "Will it be catered?"
See that light house out there? It helps prevent shipwrecks.
But why would someone build such a light house out there where the wind blows so hard?
Won't it fall down?
John
Kent, WA
Peter Piper's professor postulated that his protege' probably picked a peck of pre-pickled peppers, proceeding to pickle them post-partem.
Chuck
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny!
There was this unicyclist wearing a tuxedo
and a long came a bicyclist.
Do you know the main difference between them?
A tire!
The bicycle was grateful to the kick-stand.
He couldn't stand up without his help
because he was two-tired.
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